I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.